Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Hey Everyone...Help me answer a ?

Okay so I'm planning on getting Medicade, or medicare and or/my parents insurance since I now can as I'm a full time student...and I really want some advice on this delimma I've found myself in. It's amazing how many times a day this thought seems to pop up as I take another advil for a headache or something. But here goes:

I'm gonna be straight up and completely honest, I have absolutely no reason to be writing this if what I'm about to say is made up or false. I am so sick of it I just have to do something about it, even if it is just start with a blog.

I might be a huge wimp, I might have a "low threshold to pain" as my mother would say, or maybe I really do deal with a lot, but I have a lot of issues with my body. Like...
I have excruciating daily pain in my right ear. For the longest time I didn't know what the pain was, and I would have long days of hopeless pain only to wake up the next day with the same amount of pain. Tylenol and advil are my best friends. I would ice my face, I would put organic ear drops in my ear, nothing relieved the pain. Last year at an ER visit for Dylan, I asked the doctor about my ear pain since I had no insurance and could he answer a question for me, and within 20 seconds of what I was saying, he said "You have TMJ." and so I remember being told once like when I was 11 or 12 years old that I had TMJ syndrome, but I can't remember why and I don't ever remember having any jaw symptoms really. But after I found that out, it made perfect sense as to why it hurt so bad everyday. Amazingly, I found a super busy-mom/fun woman named Jonna, at my church who spent the past however many years giving TMJ therapy treatments at a TMJ Specialist doctors, and she began to give me extremely painful, but productive treatements. Jonna told me that every TMJ doctor has had a few patients commit suicide from the pain of TMJ syndrome. Amazingly enough, this disorder is not covered by ANY insurance companies and isnt considered a pressing issue. I cry more than 5 times per week because of the pain. It makes me bitchy, it makes me snappy, and sometimes I cannot even eat because of the pain. I try not to talk about it too much because it just really depresses me to talk about it. But theres that, and then theres my shoulder. This may sound really petty at first but hear me out. A few months ago, I remember sneezing and feeling something snap or pull in my shoulder blade...I felt really sore for the first week after that, and I would put those really wonderful bengay icy hot whatever patches on my back, which seemed to really help. Well, when i started buying 2 boxes at a time, I knew I had really did something to my shoulder blade. It hurts to pick up Dylan, it hurts at night in my bed when I toss and turn, and it hurts at the worst times, especially when Im trying to walk out the door to go do some really important errand or something so murphy's lawish like that. Its freakin ridiculous, that mixed with my ear/jaw pain? Im a grumpy crab a lot of days. I feel sorry for my family. When I think I can't possibly have any more complaints, I have to go and add the fact that I have a huge ganglion cyst in my left hand/wrist, and have had it for years. It inflates and shrinks every so often but most of the time, it's huge and it hurts so incredibly bad to type, but especially to put pressure of any sort on the palm of my hand, like when Im sitting on the floor playing with Dylan, and then I push myself up, it feels like it will burst and I am always afraid of feeling the hot liquid running up my forearm. I could name off more things horribly wrong with me like how my sinuses collapse at night because a sinus surgery in 2005 went horribly wrong and now I can only breathe at night if i press open my sinuses with my hand, and then rest my head on top of my hand so that I don't move my hand in my sleep, or how I cannot go shopping for more than 2-3 hours, or walking around town, or at a street fair or school, without my right knee swelling up or getting inflamed red and hurt so much that I cannot walk. Honestly, I may not have a terminal illness or even just a really embarassing disorder that's visible right when you look at me, but physically, my life is hell! I don't expect any doctor to know what to say after hearing all that. I feel so lousy about explaining this to him or her....like they wouldn't believe me or that i was a hypocondriact. I guess I wanna know what you guys would think an appropriate way about going and explaining this to a doctor would be...I'm so frustrated that they won't understand me and won't address all of the issues. I mean I wouldn't mind doing one at a time but trying to pick which one first is difficult. But anyway, that's all I really have to say. Let me know what you guys think.

Ames

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

YAY!

Courtesy of Grams & Gramps, I have a newwwwwwwwwww pink Dell Laptop on it's way to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee (perks of going back to college!!) Woo hoo!!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

New Bag, Don't know what to call it.



Just spent about 2 hours makin this but i think its cute :)

Friday, July 31, 2009

woah

that picture totally did not come out right, pwwwahahhahaa <3

it's a good thing to wait till you have a lot to say to make a new blog.

well, while i wait for my ever faithful tylenol pm to kick in, i think i'll rant and rave a little bit.

Rave: made a super cool new necklace deal tonight, I'm really really really into statement necklaces...like on bionicunicorns etsy she says (and i absolutely think she stole this out of my mouth) "Jewelry is the most satisfying art form available to me. When you wear a piece of jewelry, everyone you pass by that day sees it and they get to see a part of who you are." It's so true. Wear a great necklace and you will be remembered for it.

On another statement necklace note, I just found probably the most amazing necklace I've ever seen, seriously... It's by Etsy artist "Bendywho" and here she goes:



Says its a girlscout necklace but whatevs I love it all the same!

Rant: theres something stuck under my shift key and it's driving me mad. I'm learning how to use this other shift key on the right that's really quite handy!

Rave: I just made a really really cool floral statement necklace that I'm definitely gonna try out on the town a few times before (If ever) I decide to list it.



Rant: IMYOURPRESENT SUCKS A BIG FAT ONE but Im not allowed to say why.

okay i have a major headache, ugggh talk later...